Does anyone know a dependable way to repair and style curly, frizzified hair? shampoos, conditioner, gels ect?

i have this crazy curly hair, that i really love- but it's a bittersweet adoration. i can never get just the right texture and curl- either it's super shiny, defined curls and nastily crunchy, or impossible, frizzy, but soft and natural, i would love a happy medium. thanks so much for your replies!