Dont know if i still have feelings for him?

well i liked him for a whole year. like a i basically ALWAYS thought about him. then we went out for a little, it was the best time EVER. then one day he like dumped me and spread mean rumours and i was so embarresed to think we ever had a chance. it was like i was flyinng but then flew into a building. i acted like i didnt care. a few weeks later he found this new girl who he totally fell for, and i was completley done. or at least thats what i told my self. every time i see him or hear is name i get major erflies. when we talk i still have trouble like an elementry school crush. it seems like i still like him right? well idk heres the weird part. all i want to do is CRUSH him. somtimes he asks if theres somthing wrong or if i mad on aim i just go on away or ignore him. when he trys to be nice i get soo mad and annoyed idk why. ppl say hes gunna ask me out again andd i cant stop thinking about how good it will feel when i turn him down. i just want him to feel what i felt UGGHH WHYY DO I FEEL LIKEE THIS hee makes me sooo angry but i love him!!!